one two three fourrrrnication!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize