i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
