Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
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I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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