1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize