I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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