Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
