I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
