It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No...this little piggys going to the bar
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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