I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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