no, he came in my armpit
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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