Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
