I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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