hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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