she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The air was thick with penises
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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