Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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