he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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