Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
