did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
