There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.