apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own