Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
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I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.