I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize