check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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