ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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