I like my sex mixed with concussions.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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