like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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