Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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