i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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