Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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