OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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