We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why didn't you poke me back
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
