We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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