I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
