I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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