That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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