I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize