at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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