I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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