cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
