OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize