That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.