Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
