doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...