Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now