So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.