Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.