i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
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K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life