stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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