May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
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bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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