You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize