I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
