my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
