My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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