Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
