"it" just moved
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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