My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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