can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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